I Remember

I've been upending boxes, rifling through closets, and stuffing garbage bags in an effort to clean out my space and get rid of my paid-for storage space.  Throwing my own stuff out has been remarkably easy, which is especially surprising after having held onto most of them for years.  I'm talking here mostly about my clothes that I SWEAR I'll fit into again but haven't thus far.  I took a look at them yesterday and literally blurted out loud to no one I could distinguish, "If I lose all this weight, why the fuck would I want to wear THIS shit!?"

It's like a woman I work with who can be seen sporting the same styles she first thought was cool over 10 years ago.  I can think of a few good reasons to keep wearing something so old.  After all, I still have the corduroy blazers I inherited from my dad's 70s wardrobe that I personally wore through high school.  I own and wear socks that are older than my children!  But then again, my wardrobe has always been a little quirky, so maybe that doesn't count.

But then I've also come across some of my kids' things-- like Noah's school work for 1st grade at Pearl Ridge Elementary School.  It's so funny.  I read a lot of them out loud, and we all had a good laugh at his misspellings and art work.  Did you know he wrote a paper about going to see the Bulls play a game and even named a couple of players?  I don't know where that came from, but it's pure fiction.  I just don't know how he knew those names!

And while it's so cool to look upon the past and laugh at our foibles, smile affectionately upon fond memories, and maybe find encouragement in seeing how far we've come, I realize that I don't care too much for holding onto unnecessary junk anymore.  I have 10 bags filled with clothes (not all mine!), books, and handbags to prove it.  

What I've also realized is that I horde my love for people like precious jewels.  I might not show it all the time, I probably don't express it as often as I should, but you should all know that I feel so awesomely blessed to have you all in my life.  I know some totally super cool people who possess a wide range of talents-- musical, lyrical, spiritual, or otherwise.  You all have something I envy and admire.  Those I hold in highest regard, I must admit, are those who seem to effortlessly ooze love and joy to those around them.  There are people I know who are so warm and sincere and whose verbal or written contact can feel like a hug or gentle caress; the briefest interaction bears the fullness of authenticity and singularity.  

So saying, please come to our garage sale on Saturday and share in my heritage.  Just about everything I'm selling will be priced at $.25.  Help me say goodbye to the crap that's weighing me down (in the form of amassed junk in corners, boxes, and closets), and remind me again why I love being in your presence :).