Writing Is Hard (No, It Isn't)

Last summer, I experienced a breakthrough in the form of a creative writing class.  I blogged about this before near the beginning of this journey.  So much has not changed since then, but my writing world has embiggened, I think.  You know, more experiences.  Here are some examples.

1.  I have a story I'm working on.  Last summer, I began writing about two beloved characters I created, Tomas and Madrigal.  They were my world for a long time, but I kind of gave it up.  During the Spring 2015 semester, I began writing another story.  It was a short, ten-page story assignment that just kind of just kept growing until I realized it wasn't going to be a short story.  I guess that means, technically, I failed the assignment, but my teacher is awesome and encouraged me to pursue the story.  It's been difficult and sometimes it overwhelms me.  Sometimes I want to print it out, crumple up the pages, and wipe my butt with them.  You must understand, though, that having a work in progress is a big deal for me. Prior to Tomas and Madrigal, I've never had a WIP since high school.  Now I have two fiction and one non-fiction.  This is fairly momentous.

2.  Having never really written something so ambitious, I never really appreciated the kind of work that goes into it.  I've never been a plotter or outliner, but this story has me keeping all kinds of notes and doing all kinds of research.

3.  Realizing how much work goes into a story, I have become a better reader.  Not always, though.  Reading is for pleasure.  I read because it's fun and not because it's work.  Once it's work, it starts being less fun.  Again, not always, but often enough.  As a reader, I look for fully formed characters who I can really get into, whether I really like them or really despise them.  I've begun to notice how my favorite authors nudge the reader toward certain attitudes toward their characters.  It's always just kind of been magic all these years, and I've never considered myself a magician.  My perspective is changing.  If I can recognize these techniques in the books I love, then I can repeat them myself.  I can write stories.  I can be a writer.

4.  I've never really considered myself a writer.  I put writers up on a pedestal on a level that I could never reach.  Yes, even the bad writers.  There are many reasons for this, one of them being simply that even bad writers had a vision and the discipline to follow through.  I'm lazy and lack vision.  Furthermore, I know some really good writers and I felt shame next to them.  But taking classes, worrying about grades, GPA, and financial aid, I'm forced to write.  Whether it's a research essay, a short story, a poem, or mini ensayo, if I don't write it, I could fail, and even if I don't feel like a talented writer, I can't fail school.  Not failing school forces me to write, and that much writing is that much practice, and with that much practice I become a better writer.  I become a more confident writer, and being a confident writer, I'm finding, is as good (if not better) than being a good one.  I'm starting to learn that it's less about having good ideas and more about just fucking writing.  Just write.

5.  People can be mean even without meaning to.  Providing constructive criticism and even praise can be tricky.  I know that I've offended other writers even when I was trying to be thoughtful, careful, and encouraging.  The last time anyone really read my story was about ten pages ago, and I'm a little nervous about getting feedback in its current rough draft form.  I want to give it to people and remind them that this is truly a first draft and to assure them that I already have notes to change and improve certain scenes and characters.  But then I want to say fuck it.  I've already put a lot of thought and hard work into it, too.  It isn't easy.  Bear this in mind if ever I ask you to read it.  Please, be kind.