Fake Plastic Trees

A few years ago we got smart and bought our first (and only) artificial Christmas tree.  It was kind of a surprise thing when we were in City Mill (we even supported local business in the process!) and saw that they had one, and I mean, ONE fake tree on sale.  It cost us probably under $30, and it's perfect for us.

Now, I've had a real tree in my house my entire life.  Once, I even bought a Christmas tree when it was snowing!  Not in Hawaii, of course, but it was as close to movie-perfect as it gets.  I remember listening to Fiji on the radio while the guy strapped the tree to the roof of my car.  It was huge and unwieldy and didn't give off any good smells, but it was snowing and I could live with that.  So, yeah, real trees.  Mmm.  That smell is distinctive, isn't it?  And it was the leading reason we kept buying them.  That and the fact that buying a fake one just seem to make the holiday more plastic.  (If you'd like to hear what a plastic Christmas sounds like, listen to this song and find out.  By the way, I love the song.  It totally captures the spirit of a consumer-driven, canned Muzak holiday.)

But then you kind of begin to realize that it's just a symbol and you can make a symbol out of just about anything.  And you can also make it mean whatever you want it to. Maybe this fake tree symbolizes our love of the holiday as well as our love of nature and preserving the environment.  It means we don't participate in the consumerism of finding the best place to buy the best tree at the best price.  It's about peace of mind and conservationism.  The same tree has been a part of our family for the last three years, you know?  So it's like family.  Family you bring out into the living room for a few weeks then pack in a box in the closet for the rest of the year.  Okay, so it's kind of what you'd like to do to some family, some of the time.

It's now at the point that I don't really miss the real tree smell, and enjoying the fact that my new tree doesn't shed like a neurotic cat was pretty immediate.  There are no bald spots, no messing with it for hours initially (then a few minutes for days afterwards) to make sure it's standing straight, and I don't even have to forget to water it!  One of the best aspects of having this fake tree is that we can put it up exactly when we have the opportunity to do so.  Yesterday, for example, when we had only a window of about an hour to put it up, we didn't have to go to the store and spend 30 minutes looking for the perfect imperfect tree, let it sit outside and drop for another 30 minutes, put it in the stand and fiddle with it for another hour to make sure it's straight and won't topple over, to finally put the lights on and then realize the tree STILL isn't straight.  We had time to put it up and decorate it all before Charlie had to go to work.  And that was the best thing.

Five Degrees of Thought Separation (Or High School to Poop In 5 Easy Steps)

1.  Over the past few weeks, Noah has been talking to me about school registration for next year.  He wonders about taking Honors courses and has gotten into two of them: social studies and science.  I told him I support his decision to challenge himself, but that he'd better do the work because there's no sense in taking the more challenging courses only to fail them due to laziness and not difficulty.  Unlike his mom who failed at least one quarter every year she was in Honors English.  I'm talking about getting an F at least one quarter a year.  Those same study habits followed his mom to college, but the work was a lot easier so she was able to pull off As and Bs.  Ultimately, she dropped out altogether.

2.  I went back to school last fall so that I might improve my financial situation and as a model for my kids.  Going to my youngest sister's college graduation sealed the deal.  I'm motivated in a way I've never been before.  I work hard, I'm well-organized, I opt to study rather than do sucky things like go to the movies with my friends.  So, it's no shocker when I take an English class this year and my professor rocks my world by suggesting I major in English.  It's a life-long dream of mine, make no mistake, but one that frightens me because it actually means something to me.  It isn't just something I have a passing interest in or happen to be good at or have had lots of practice doing.  It has tremendous value to me.

3.  So, I think about this every morning on my way to work when I drive past UH Manoa.  (Could you people turning left into UH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE turn your signal on before you get to the light?  Give us a heads up so we can change lanes ahead of time!) Driving past UH always makes me think about my future.  But, anyway, once I past the school and just before I hit St. Louis Heights Drive, there's a little sign on the side of the road that says something like "Clean up your mess!" and has a plastic bag attached to it.  I assume its so that people will pick up their dog poop.

4.  When I got home from work today, I changed my clothes and found something to feed my face.  Mmm.  Leftover breakfast.  What do I hear outside?  Niele me poked my nose through the blinds and heard a neighbor across the street telling a lady on the sidewalk that she has to pick up her "dog's shit like everybody else."  She's defiant, but he persists, saying "dog shit" about 20 times.  "People got kids over here," he says.  She just stares up at him on his balcony.  I couldn't see him from my front window, but I could see her, and the two thoughts I had while looking at her angry face was one, that more than just those people on Dole Street care about dog messes and two, "Right on, man!  You tell her!"  Because I wouldn't.

5.  Which reminded me of what I did the other day at Times on Beretania, the one by Safeway.  Traffic was kinda bad so although I wanted to go to the Times on Waialae, I had to bypass it because of an accident at 6th and Harding.  Halfway there, Lucy says she's gotta go bathroom.  There's one at Times, so we head to the one on Beretania.  She waits in a very short line, she's second, and there are two people working the counter.  But they don't help her after five minutes, so I go stand next to her.  Maybe they don't think she needs help.  We wait another 5 minutes (or so) and finally one of the clerks deems himself ready to help us.  "My daughter needs to use the bathroom," I tell him.  "Oh.  Actually, the bathroom is out of order right now."  I am beyond frustrated.  Long day at work, drove in traffic, and then waited in line for NOTHING.  We could have bought what we came for and left in the time it took to stand in line.  I normally don't say anything, but I couldn't stop myself from saying to the guy, "Well, it's a good thing we waited then, yeah?"  Because, come one, put a damn sign up or something.  Don't waste my time.  But I felt embarrassed afterwards because it was a stupid thing to say and it wasn't his fault.  But, shit, put up a sign or something.